Disney, my Dad, and the Very Bisexual T-Shirt
Jun. 15th, 2025 02:00 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ravenna_c_tanSo, between Pride being yesterday here in Boston, and Father’s Day being today, I thought I’d tell you a story today of what Being Queer in the Nineties was like, and also (another) story about Dad.
To be clear, being queer in the 1990s was definitely not always a joy. But in this case… well, you’ll see.
When I was in my early 20s, my parents decided to take me and my brother on a cruise vacation. This was exciting for a number of reasons, not least because my parents were awesome to hang out with. It was always fun to spend time with them and my brother, who was then 16 and had at that point gotten into the Grateful Dead. (Jerry Garcia was still alive, then.)
If you’re new here, my Dad was a Chinese-filipino immigrant who came to the States to be a doctor (and send money home to support his 9 younger siblings). Mom, meanwhile, was born in rural upstate New York, spent her teens in Florida, and then moved to NYC after college. Mom was the one who raised my brother and me to be the progressive humanists we are, while Dad often seemed a little bit baffled by “American” attitudes.
Also, it was our first time on a cruise ship.
( Read the rest of this entry » )Mirrored from Cecilia Tan.
Dad
Jun. 14th, 2025 04:00 pmlostinthoughtAnd then this instagram post happened and I had a meltdown.
I've talked about what I went through with dad over the last two-ish years, but I never talked about dad. Or not much, I don't think. And since I plan to completely turn off my brain in order to survive tomorrow, I want to talk about him today.
Might as well do all the crying at once, right?
TW: rape (NOT DAD), emotional abuse (again not dad)
( Cut for length )
For me, caring for my parents isn't about grand acts of love. It's about making sure they have friends, that they eat well, have things to look forward to, and they continue to feel like they have a purpose.What hurts most about his death is that I worked so hard toward the goal of giving him as best a final act as I could. I found him a beautiful place to live, we talked about trips we wanted to take. I was going to help him make friends (I hoped), and he'd get to have all the oysters he could want for.
He is now your dad, too.
Instead, he spent the final two months of his life in the hospital, in pain, slowly withering. He deserved so much fucking more than that. I know I did the best I could with the resources I had at the time, most days I even believe that, but I'll still never be able to forgive myself for how it ended.
the one with the accommodations
Jun. 5th, 2025 10:00 pmlostinthoughtSo the expiration date was the end of the year and I completely forgot about it because, y'know, dad in the hospital. And boss was out on FMLA at the time for surgery. And then she didn't say anything when she came back, so even though I had my psych fill out the paperwork, I figured why rock the boat. Only then she decided to institute this dumb as fuck fixed hybrid schedule and she reminded herself that my accommodation expired.
Her snotty little email about how she expected me to immediately start coming in that third day made me want to put my fist through the computer. But joke was on her because that week was already up and the following week was the short week (Memorial Day). Since I already had the paperwork filled out, it didn't take long for occ health to go through it and approve an extension (yes, there is still an expiration date. I have to be re-evaluated every year. ugh), so I only had to go in three days for one week.
Boy, did I not realize how emotionally draining that extra day is.
Tonight's the first night all week that I haven't zoned out on the couch, half assedly reading a book I've read multiple times with the TV on in the background. The other two nights, I was in bed shortly after 9PM. Right now, it's 10:12PM. I brushed my teeth and followed my skincare routine!
It probably also helps that I had the office all to myself today, which is very unusual. But my fuse on the train ride home was incredibly short, and not helped by the ninety-fucking-degree weather.
I'm going over to a friend's place to feed their cattos while they're down in Connecticut for a WNBA game and I'm super psyched to get some kitteh time. I have a hair cut scheduled for Saturday too, which I'm even more excited about. I haven't been excited about getting my hair done in so, so long and it feels fucking amazing. It's due in large part to my stylist. They're just so lovely and kind and wonderful. I don't automatically default to hate when I look in the mirror now, and it's all because of her.
FIC: The Royal Sanctuary: historical background (Tempestuous Tours)
Jun. 4th, 2025 08:27 pmduskpetersonThe royal sactuary is arguably the most important chamber in the palace. It is here that, in former times, a sanctuarian priest held daily rituals designed to uplift the spirits of worshippers and – I am sorry to say – crush the spirits of slaves. The Emorians, rightly appalled by the Koretians' treatment of their slaves, built part of their new palace over the burning ground just outside the courtyard, which lay within easy sight of the sanctuary.
Despite its despicable misdeeds of the past, Koretia's priesthood has survived to the present day. The Jackal, who is also High Priest of Koretia, holds annual services to honor the slaves who served and died in Koretia; these services are often attended by the few slaves who survived their treatment. Some of these slaves remain dead in mind but come willingly to this service, drawn here by the Jackal, who is the god of death and who therefore watches over their spirits in the Land Beyond. To witness these dead-in-mind men and women gather around the Jackal is a deeply moving experience - a living monument to the Koretian belief that the gods can transform evil into good.
The royal sanctuary was desecrated at the time of the Emorian invasion of 961; the sanctuary was used to stable horses in the years that followed. After the Emorians withdrew from Koretia in 976, the chamber remained empty for many years. In 987, on the twenty-fifth anniversary of the liberation of Koretia's slaves by the Emorians, the chamber was rededicated under the name of the Royal Sanctuary of the Living Dead. It is now a memorial to the suffering of Koretia's former slaves.
Conveniently for visitors, the royal sanctuary can be visited separately from the rest of the palace. The sanctuary now has its own entrance, unconnected to the royal residence or any other portion of the Koretian palace.
[Translator's note: The Royal Sanctuary plays a dramatic role in Death Mask.]